Mental Health is something that usually has a strong stigma around it, and a mostly negative one at that. I think at some point in our lives we all face things that causes our mental health to deteriorate a little bit. Whether it’s from a job, a struggling relationship/friendship, financial hardship, a devastating illness, or some other type of trauma. So it’s really important that we all find tools to help us soothe and cope with whatever mental struggles we might be dealing with, while handling all the things life still throws at us. Today, I share with you some tips for caring for your mental health, and what in particular has worked for me.

I think we can all agree that this year has been hard on everyone. The pandemic has definitely turned our lives upside down and inside out. We are facing something that most of us never thought we’d see in our lifetime, add on the fact that it’s an election year, and a tumultuous one at that, with friends and family ending years of relationships over a simple ballot cast in this year’s election. While these are just two large events that have loomed over us all year long, many of us are also dealing with our own personal struggles on the side as well. Whether it’s financial security, whether it’s with your own health and wellbeing, a family member’s health, caring for children and helping them with their schoolwork, or balancing a job while working remotely or in a different setting than we are used to, or a mix of all of the above. Our lives no longer have separation and boundaries, but now everything has been melded together for us to handle, all while keeping ourselves sane.

Over the last two years, I have had to overcome a lot both mentally and physically while recovering from my two initial brain surgeries. I would never admit it then, but in early to mid-2019 I was most certainly depressed and I only had social media to connect me to the outside world - and social media is now the most toxic thing in my life. Today, I would certainly admit I am still battling mild depression while suffering from moderate stress and anxiety. In fact, in August 2020 I was diagnosed with just that. I have had to find ways to cope with the stress and anxiety and beat the depression. I don’t open up about a lot of this, because honestly, it’s personal - and sometimes I feel ashamed of the way I feel. However, I know I am not alone and that there are other people facing the same battles as me, under different circumstances. My hope with today’s blog post is to share with everyone some of the tools and resources that I have found helpful or that I have been informed are helpful (they may not work for me, or for everyone, but maybe for someone!) in coping with stress and anxiety and to help overcome any case of depression that someone might be facing.

Tools & Resources for Coping with Stress, Anxiety, and Depression

1.) Music - this has been essential for me. Music has always been cathartic for me, so whether it’s on my way to physical therapy, a doctor’s appointment, or just to run errands, music is something that I almost always have playing no matter where I am. I have several different playlists with different genres of music, so I have something for every mood I might be feeling. Whether I need something calming and relaxing, or I want something more happy and upbeat, if I need to get moving or need some energy, or if I’m in a funk and need something more loud and intense, etc. Music for me is a release and a way to let me feel what I am feeling in a relatively positive way. Takeaway: if you like music, think about what you like to listen to when you are happy, sad, excited, etc. and what songs you normally like to listen to. Then add those songs to those different playlists to have handy when you need something that speaks to you and listen to it whenever you need to. In the car, at night before bed, while doing work around the house, etc.

2.) Alone Time/Go for a Drive - For me, I sometimes just need some time by myself. On the weekends, even if I do not need to buy anything or do anything, I still will try to go for a drive (unless I am really tired). For me, I will drive myself to a store just to window shop and while I am alone by myself and can do things at my own pace, sometimes being in a room with others around me and doing something I quite honestly enjoy, helps too. I also enjoy being at the beach. If it’s a nice day (even if it’s cold), as long as there is no snow, I will drive myself to the ocean just to take in a few deep breaths of the salty sea air and go for a short walk up and down the beach. Again, being by myself and taking some time for me. Takeaway: don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself, TAKE IT. It can be simple for something simple like going to get coffee and back, or something longer like driving to the ocean or driving around town. Maybe you need to just sit in a room in your house and have some quiet time. Whatever you do, don’t feel guilty about doing it. We all need to do something to refill the well, reconnect, and re-energize.

3.) Self-Care Day/Daily Routine - Self-care looks different for everyone. For me, sometimes it’s a day to pamper myself and re-energize my mind and my body. That usually includes taking a day (usually Sunday) and giving myself a facial, doing my nails, bingeing my favorite TV shows (even the ones I’ve watched already), and even sleeping in a little. I make sure to give my body and mind what it needs to regroup before a long work week ahead. Some people do this regularly as part of a routine, which is great, and if that’s what works best for you, then have at it! Some people only need or want to carve out one day a week for these activities because that’s all they need. Again, everyone’s needs are different and how they will address self-care will look different too. Takeaway: do what works best for you. Whether it means taking a day to sip coffee and read a good novel on the couch in your comfiest of clothes, decorate for the season/holiday that may be approaching, spending an afternoon pampering your body from head to toe (whether at home or out at a professional spa/salon), or creating a daily self-care routine, you do what makes you happiest and makes you feel the most re-energized.

4.) Counseling/Therapy - This is something I have actually taken advantage of multiple times in my life. I went to counseling when I was a freshman in college and was really struggling to adapt, but also facing insecurities because I was in a degree program with a lot of people who have had more opportunities or experiences than me, and were making me feel less than adequate to be a part of the program. I only showed horses once in my whole life, and when I was in college whether you rode competitively or not you had to help with the IEA Show every year, which is put on for local barns/riding stable teams. I remember the night before the show I was panicking so bad that I had no idea what I was doing that I basically had an anxiety attach. I had caught so much flack from the upperclassmen who refused to really help me and talked down to me the whole weekend we were preparing for the show, that I was starting to question my own abilities. However, attending counseling that year really helped me gain a new perspective, get myself out of my own head, and give me some confidence. I stopped going partway through Spring Semester my Freshman year and returned to counseling my Senior Year when I was trying to cope with relationship problems, friendship problems, roommate issues, my Senior Project, and being a Resident Advisor for the first time. In August 2020 I was told by the neuro-pyschologist after getting a cognitive functioning test that I needed to seek out Cognitive Behaviorial Therapy (CBT) or otherwise, some form of counseling, to get my stress and anxiety under control and to help aid in recovering from the mild depression he diagnosed me with. I had been seeing a life coach through work and really created a great bond with them and trusted them, so it was hard for me to make the switch to doing full-time counseling and starting with someone new. However, they had been suggesting this for a while since I could only be seen on a short-term basis and once a month, and now I am in counseling once a week and it’s made a huge difference. Getting to talk to someone who has an unbias opinion towards your life and situation is really helpful, and for me talking things out almost makes it easier for me to comprehend and come to my own conclusions on what I need to do to make a change in my life for the better. Takeaway: do not ever be ashamed of counseling. For me, it has helped me with my anxiety in a big way. I used to get in my own head and think up all the worst case scenarios that could happen in a situation and stress myself out over something so small. I’ve learned through counseling that sometimes we need to let that stuff go. I look at counseling as a way to talk to someone who can help me work through my emotions and train of thought and make decisions to better improve a situation in my life. While it’s nice to be able to go to your friends or family to talk about these things, that’s a HUGE burden to sometimes put on them, especially when they might have their own personal struggles to work through too. They aren’t professionals, and while they may not mind being there for you temporarily, in the long-term it can be hard on them. Counseling isn’t for everyone, but if you struggle with stress, anxiety, or depression, I highly recommend talking to your primary care physician and discussing the possibility of counseling for you.

5.) Meditation/Guided Meditation - I have tried meditation a few times. I have an app called Balance that I recently downloaded as part of their promotional campaign for Mental Health Awareness Day 2020 where they gave everyone a year’s free subscription. I have just started to use it, but when you download the app it goes through some basic questions about things that you want to focus on, what is stressing you out the most and rank them, and then it puts together a full plan for you to help you focus on improving your mental health or maintaining a positive mental health regime. Another app that I have used specifically for meditation is called Insight Timer. This has a variety of both playlists for meditating on your own and guided meditations and is free. I have found it hard for me to meditate because I cannot sit still for that long or take myself seriously doing it. However, I have found that trying to meditate while laying in bed at night has been helpful in calming my mind to help me wind down for the night. Takeaway: mediation isn’t going to be for everyone. I have found that it has helped me when I have done it and I’ve been able to sit through it. I’ve felt more relaxed and more focused whether I started that in the middle of the day or at the end of the day. Certainly feel free to try it and try different varieties and see what works for you.

6.) Yoga - I have been told by so many people to try yoga. My balance and vestibular issues really prevent me from actually being able to do yoga, so that might be something I try later on. I have done it a handful of times prior to brain surgery and enjoyed it. Yoga really does do a great job at making you focus on your breathing (like mediation), and is a good workout without actually having to break a sweat. Takeaway: yoga can be a great way for someone who wants to do something activity while still remaining grounded (like me) to blend meditation and exercise together. Yoga studios are popping up all over the country, and you can find yoga classes or tutorials online as well.

7.) Being Creative - I started to find that coloring when I needed a mental break, or just free drawing has been really helpful in channeling some of my stress and anxiety into something more positive. I have adult coloring books to be really helpful, but honestly, even just grabbing some paper and markers or colored pencils and free drawing whatever comes to mind. I used to like making beaded jewelry or string bracelets years ago, and have thought about getting back into it as a way to channel my energy into something else creative while also feeling like I am being productive. Takeaway: channeling your stress/anxiety/energy into something. Whether it’s drawing, painting, crafting, or anything else that allows you to be creative while also feeling productive. This way, you don’t feel like you have wasted your time while relaxing or channeling that stress and anxiety into more positive energy.

8.) Step Away From Social Media Time to Time - I think it’s really important for anyone’s mental health to step away from social media. It’s a toxic place to be in sometimes, and keyboard warriors think they are so much stronger (and they are) when not faced with their prey in person. Sometimes peoples comments, words, or actions on social media can be harmful, even when they feel as though they are being well-intentioned. If you are thinking that social media is become a toxic place or you find that after just a few minutes of scrolling you instantly feel your mood change into something negative, it’s a sight to step away. Takeaway: don’t feel bad about stepping away and disconnecting. This doesn’t mean you don’t talk to people through social media, but you can be less present. I have seen a lot of people post that they won’t be on as often, or that they are taking a step away, even apologizing in advance for delayed responses to messages. We shouldn’t have to apologize for putting our mental health first, but some people just don’t understand that some people need to step back from the toxicity of social media. If this is you, feel good about the decision you are making and know it’s likely the right one for you.

These are only a few examples of tools that can help with stress, anxiety, and depression. While I certainly do not use all of them, I have read or been told that many of these are helpful resources, or I’ve been encouraged to look into them. I think it’s important to keep an open mind and try lots of different avenues to learn to cope and support our mental health. Not everything you try will work, and not everything will work long-term, but something is bound to stick - you just find what works best for YOU.

Do you have ways to cope with stress and anxiety? Have any of these worked for you before? Drop a comment below and share what’s helped you!